Accepting things as they are...or not.
I went to my ABF's on Thursday night to watch our favorite show together...he was drinking the entire time and was drunk by the time we went to bed. One thing was evident, he's happier with me not living there anymore because he can drink as much as he likes. I'm happier not being there because I don't have to witness it.
The one thing that's been on my mind this morning is that THIS is how he is. He has no desire to change, and I have no desire to live with an A. We have fun when we're together - but if I'm living with him I can't handle the drama, feeling unimportant, doing all of the chores, having all of the responsibility...basically all of the things that comes with living with an active A.
He had mentioned in passing something about accepting him the way he is...as an A. I do love him - as he is - and I know I can't live with him. I don't see a future for us as long as he's drinking, and it makes me sad, because when we were discussing our future together the things I said and felt were based on not knowing he was an A. It wasn't until after I moved in that it became evident how bad he is.
So, I'm having to let go. I see pictures on FB of him drinking with his buddies, having a great time, and I know that I'm just an old "fuddy dud" by comparison. I really don't think we are compatible. We love each other quite a lot, but that isn't enough...
On a very positive note, I've been in my place for a full week now and I just LOVE it! Being on my own I'm beginning to finally feel like a "normal" person!