My alcoholic father is about to become homeless. Should I let him stay with me?
I'm struggling to figure out how to handle my situation, and this seems like it might be the place to ask.
My father has been an alcoholic since long before I was born. He's been on a downward spiral for a long time - mostly since my parents divorced when I was around 8 (I'm 25 now).
He lost his houses when he couldn't pay his mortgages while in jail for long periods at a time for DUIs without a license, presumably among other things. Ever since then he's been bouncing from place to place staying with people. He's been out of state for a while, and thus as out of mind as he can be, all things considered. Most recently he was staying with his sister, and they got along well because she's an alcoholic as well.
Now she's decided to move back in with her ex-husband, thus he's looking for a place to stay. I told him that I'd love to have him stay with me if he was sober and working, but that I could't handle his drinking. It sounds like he either misinterpreted that or is just trying to stay with me anyway, because he's convinced that he's going to stay with me while on the waiting list for a rehab program, go through the rehab, and then come to stay with me afterwards.
I really don't want him to stay with me, but I don't want him to be homeless, either. I can't tell whether my wanting him to not stay with me comes from selfishness or wisdom. I'm financially independent, I live alone, and I've worked hard to get to where I am. I'm sure that if I let him stay with me, even only temporarily, it would be a very bad situation, in some ways that I can foresee, and likely in other ways that I haven't even thought of yet.
I want to help him however I can, but in this situation I can't tell the difference between helping and enabling. I know that if he becomes homeless, then it's his fault and the consequences of his own actions, but that doesn't change the fact that whether or not he becomes homeless depends entirely upon whether I hold my ground and tell him that he can't stay with me.
What should I do? Should I let him stay with me? If I do so, would that be helping or enabling? If I don't do so, how else could I help?
Are there shelters, halfway houses, etc that allow somebody to work and do various chores to stay indefinitely without monetary charge in exchange for food and a place to stay? I know that the rehab facility that he's trying to apply for allows that, but I don't know how to find shelters like that, or even what that's called in order to google search for any in my area.