Hi all
It's been a while since I last posted, but SD is okay, kind of. In my last post I outlined the problem we'd had with my mother in law and her involvement with my husband's ex, SD's alcoholic mum, and SD having a real issue with her nan being involved with the woman who effectively ruined her life. My MIL promised SD, and my husband that she would have no further involvement with SD's mum, and all was okay, for a bit. I also outlined that SD hadn't heard from her mum on her actual birthday, which was 6 weeks ago now, but did receive a card 3 days later. She was completely and utterly unimpressed with the late card and ripped it up and threw it away. She heard nothing at all from her mum until last week. Her mum text her and said "I'm meeting nan and grandad this week (my MIL and FIL) and I'll pass your birthday present to them as I don't want it getting lost in the post". Now, bear in mind that MIL promised she wouldn't have anything to do with her. Also bear in mind that SD's mum knows that SD doesn't want her nan having anything to do with her, and SD's mum also knows that SD's nan promised her she wouldn't have anything to do with her. Therefore, why on earth would SD's mum WANT to text her daughter telling her she's doing something she knows SD doesn't want to happen??? To rub her nose in it I guess, because I can't think of any other reason. It's like she's saying "to hell with you telling your nan she can't see me". In case it's confusing, which I appreciate it can be, 'nan' is my husband's mother, nothing whatsoever to do with SD's mum blood wise.
So, SD text her mum and told her she's clueless, and that if she and her nan are going to completely disregard her feelings and wishes then they should at least keep it quiet!! She's not received a reply from her mum, and she forwarded the text her mum sent her to her nan and hasn't heard from her either. My husband is fuming because his mum has broken her promise to her granddaughter (we knew she would, but it's still hurtful), and me, well I'm at a stage where I'm just going to wash my hands of my mother in law, again. This woman has maintained an unhealthy relationship with SD's mum ever since my husband left her 12 years ago. She's watched SD suffer at the hands of her mother but would always refuse to help us get her out of there, despite us warning her that her granddaughter's mental wellbeing would be jeopardised if she stayed with her mum. She always sided with SD's mum over SD and my husband. I don't understand it, and never will, and because she's unlikely to change, ever, I really don't want any more to do with her. But, it's harder for my husband because he's an only child, and it's hard for SD because she truly believes her nan should be loyal to her, and NOT her alcoholic mother! As a result of this she's been self harming this week. Nice.
I don't know why I've posted really, because my mind is made up. I guess I'm just at a loss as to why a recently discharged from rehab alcoholic would prove they don't care about their own flesh and blood by rubbing their nose in it. Why would she do that? Surely recovery is all about building bridges? As it is, SD hasn't seen her mum for nearly a year, and she's in no hurry to speak to her or see her, even less so now
