Hey Halo. I can't over-applaud you
Just look at where you are vs. 2+ weeks ago.
The beast that is this no contact, and I hear it in what you're saying, is that logical part of us that says "I had so much to say." I think you know by now I had so much to say too.
My ex's letter was a sham. That was confirmed after I was forced to call 911, after she showed up drunk at 6am at my door. And when I look at what you said he texted you, it's an apology coupled with an offer to give you something back.
I have a musician friend I might have mentioned who is 8 (more?) yrs recovering. An all around impressive guy. He texted me that 'addicts hate to lose things even more than others. when in reality they gave it all away'.
They gave us away, Halo. They didn't even lose us because they would have had to receive us and hear us more to do that. I know it hurts not to get to say your piece. I wish I could meet her in a park and have a conversation, hug her, and wish her well on her way. Instead I'm having to protect myself.
You are an inspiration. Keep going! I will too.