I attend at least 2 meetings per week these days. It's hard for me to fit them in because I don't live in the city and I'm not trusted to go alone. But going out of my way to make it possible right now in my life I need them so badly. I'm on, I'm off but I BELIEVE in recovery and the 12 steps. They do work, if you keep coming back.
Have you considered going back to meetings? Finding a sponsor?
I agree with you that everything in life happens for a reason and I wouldn't take any of my turbulent times back because I've learned so much and continue to...
Life is a beautiful struggle. You can do this! Go back to the gym, go to meetings. If this has worked for you in the past jump right back in! One day I too will reach 5 months clean and beyond.