JustaGirl - exactly! It does make me wonder if I ever really mattered and for the first week or so, it was KILLING me that he wasn't even trying to contact me. Now I realize that it's for the best, for whatever the reason.
When we'd fight previously, I used to tell him how badly it hurt me when he would shut down and not contact me. Eventually either he would or I would (almost always me), but he knows that it is one of the worst things he can do to me. Communication is crucial with me and little by little, we completely lost all communication - at least any communication that actually meant something. So, I'm still not so sure that he's respecting my wishes of not contacting me more than he's using the only thing he has left to put that last nail in my coffin, but I try not to think about it because I guess it really doesn't matter anymore. It's still hard, but it's getting a lot better.
I know he loved me as much as he was capable of loving me and I'm sure yours did too. Sadly, their definition of 'love' and ours seems to be very different. Their definition seems extremely distorted. One day I'd feel like I was everything in the world to him, and, the next I'd feel like he looked at me as public enemy #1. It was all so hurtful and confusing. But, the silver lining is that we don't have to deal with that constant state of confusion they liked to keep us in anymore.
Hang in there - you're doing great too! We're getting there. It's a bumpy road for sure, but it's all about the progress! Baby steps.