I have to share something. Over the last year or so, I recorded on my phone several "talks" between my husband and I. I am really not sure why I did this, probably for several reasons....self doubt being one. Sometimes, he even knew I was doing it.
With the exception of one or two, I never listened to any of them until last night. All I can say is WOW, I am glad it's over.
There were many times, I was so frustrated after we talked. I remember telling a friend once "he is the only one that I talk to, that I feel crazy and confused afterwards. " Now I know why. He was using, he was insane and I was still in denial. I still had so much self doubt or I just wanted to because I couldn't face the truth at the moment in time.
Note to self - if you ever have to record another conversation with someone so you don't feel crazy after, don't have the conversation. Better yet, distance yourself as far as possible.
Healthy or not, I am thankful I have these recordings. They are a great reminder of the insanity I am leaving and will never have to endure again.