Originally Posted by
Ofelie 
I guess I never learned that its ok if I just let go and move on without falling apart, etc.
I think the nature of the relationship that is ending plays a big part, too. When we become obsessed, overly enmeshed, are rescuing or feel we need to be rescued, then endings can feel catastrophic. We have placed too much power in the other person's hands. They became responsible for our sense of well being, and without them, we fear that we will disappear.
This is especially true in a relationship with an addict; the addict is chasing the high, and the partner is chasing the addict, desperate to connect.
Another thread once addressed how in healthy relationships, each can let go of the other when things just aren't right anymore. And no one engages in gas lighting or blame, or other tactics. They can just agree to part.
These are just thoughts - I have been musing on this a lot lately, too, as I have been unable to go no contact with my X. We aren't together, I haven't seen him in over 7 months, but I can't seem to cut the cord once and for all.
