My first thoughts when I read this were that it sounded much like I have felt in the past.
And that the letting go was really more about attachment and abandonment.
In my own therapy sessions my inability to let go was because I needed that love no matter what the circumstances. I formed attachments that weren't based on a healthy dynamic. I had to really look at my underlying emotional needs to figure out why am I holding on to these relationships? Why can't I just walk away? And why do in always feel a desperate need to have someone love me?
I'm still struggling with that but it's taken some time.
Not sure that helps but it was my first thought.
