Wow. Many great threads on here tonight. In my program of recovery, we say "we will not regret the past nor wish to close the door on it." I struggle with that sometimes because I did so many bad things and mistreated a lot of people due to my alcoholism. I also was only half there or not there at all for many things and people. Like Anna mentioned, even if I was "sober" most of the time I wasn't there 100% because my wheels were turning internally on my next drink or my last one. But I am learning to not see this for a downer because becoming a recovering alcoholic, I am learning to treat life for what it is, a gift. I'm alive and sober and now I can be here 100%.