I have posted about this a couple of times, sometimes under different screen names.
I am at the end of my tether and i dont know what to do, I really hope someone can help me.
My situation is that I am a year sober, I have smoked pot in that time but my problem was alcohol. Like I say I haven't had a drink in a year, so thats a positive. I am now working towards getting off the weed which I can't see being a problem since I am down to one or two in the evening, and i did use it for a legitimate reason (it was the only thing that actually got me off the drink in the end - i was one of these chronic relapsers no matter how bad it was).
My problem is a strange one - I definitely suffer from low self esteem and low confidence, and definitely social anxiety. The strange thing however is that the social anxiety is ten fold around females, to the point i literally can no longer even LOOK at a girl, let alone talk to one.
This is doing my head in. I'm 26 years old, and recently started university to become qualified in my chosen subject - I'm single, and im surrounded by people and a large percentage of those are girls obviously. I just feel like all of my teenage years were wasted by being drunk or ****** out of my head on whatever drugs, now even at 26, this time is getting wasted because im a total loner. I talk to a few (guys) in uni, thats it.
I cant take this any more, train journeys, walking through crowds of people - even in uni today, we were in the "computer lab", and there are female helpers in from the second year, and I know for a fact i come across as totally ignorant because as soon as i "feel" one of them come my direction i shut myself off as if to say do not approach - i am in total conflict with myself because i WANT to be able to just ******* talk to people like a normal person, but the fear is so intense that its causing me to come across as ill mannered and ignorant or that im too good to talk to anyone, which lets face it is probably the polar opposite of whats happening inside my head.
The bottom line is i nearly drank over this 2 days ago, i need some answers before i go crazy
