Thanks for the hugs hopeful. He can't tell me he messed up because he doesn't think he has a problem. I don't ask him anymore if he is drinking because I'm tired of hearing lies. Although I'm tempted to ask him to honestly tell me if he was drinking while he was out of town last week. But I don't know what that will accomplish.
Hammer he is actively drinking but won't admit it and drinks secretly.
Seren while I know my part isn't a lie, it still hurts to my core that he lied/lies to me. I can't wrap my head around the fact that he's not my white knight and rock .