Hi giliji,
My ex-husband lied and cheated on me toward the end our marriage. I did not trust him, and he did not understand that in order for me to trust him again, he had to earn it. He thought we could just move on without addressing any of the pain I felt, and that just wasn't possible for me. We talked a lot about the reasons he cheated, and he did have some valid complaints about me and our marriage--but he could never talk about what he did that hurt me, and there was no getting past that for me.
I, too, felt stupid. I felt as though my entire marriage and relationship with him was a lie. But is wasn't, not for me.
My feelings and intentions and actions may not have been perfect, but they were genuine and honorable. I did love him....in many ways, I still do (just not romantically). My part of the marriage was not a lie. Your part of your marriage has not been a lie, and for that, you should be proud.