O honey...don't ever feel stupid. It's him doing the lying, not you....that is stupid. For myself, that is what just does me in. I could tolerate hearing, hey, I messed up today, I was weak but am working on it. Instead I hear lies that make ME feel like the crazy one. I have to say, I have put my foot down and I don't really think he lies to me anymore. However, it is because I don't allow it, not because he doesn't want to, which just defeats the purpose. QUACK.
Honesty is the only way to go. It is good he instilled that in your kids, and you know it too. The thing is, so does he, but it is hard to "walk the walk," so to speak.
I do understand how sad it makes you feel, the resentment, the anger, the anxiety...all of it, and I send you big tight hugs.
Originally Posted by
giliji 
I'm really struggling with all the lies. He was really big on instilling the kids that honesty is the only way to go. That lying broke trust and once broken is hard to get back. He has been lying to me for the last few years. I thought we never kept anything from each other. I am struggling with the fact that the life I thought I had was not real. I really thought we had something special. For many years we did, but not now. I feel stupid.