Relapse and drugs are a part of my story too, unfortunately.
I like what's been said so far in this thread... baby steps. One day at a time, self-care must come first or else we are at risk. That's what has always been hard for me; I get overloaded then I crash and relapse again and again. I can't afford another relapse. This time around, it's all about me first.
I'm 7 days now going through a horrible opiates detox. I don't ever want to look back. You can do this!!!!! I've been doing it with good people around me whom I trust and taking extra care of myself.
I'm also a supporter of NA and SMART recovery, and I see an addictions doctor and go to a psychiatrist but that's what keeps me sober after I get sober...
Stay strong and keep posting!! You're worth it!
OF