spedteach

How have others handled relapses by the A's in their lives? Mine was sober (to my knowledge) for the last 10 years at least. He has been drinking again since Thanksgiving. I posted last week that he asked me if I would be mad if he drank, I didn't get into it with him, just told him he's an adult and he needed to decide for himself what he was going to do, however, I would not be supportive of him drinking.

I have stuck by my word to not comment on it, and to worry about me and my ds through this. I haven't changed a thing I do however, his drinking, clearly changes what he does or doesn't do around the house.

In the past month, he was drinking daily and after he missed work last week, I have noticed he's made a huge effort (I'm sure that is what he'd say) to not drink daily. Big whoop, he's still doing it at least every other day.

Did you ever comment about it? Here's where I'm at...after a lot of thinking, soul searching, talking to someone close to me, I will not make empty threats, I'm not even at a point where I want to do that, however, I will not lie for him, cover up for him, buy for him, clean up after him, anything. But, I also feel like I'm not sure that it's right to be silent and say nothing, let him figure it out or let him know I'm concerned it's getting out of hand. I do NOT want to be his excuse, but I also find it very hard to sit back and be quiet much longer. I KNOW he realizes he's wrong and has a problem, he commmented to me 1 time already that he's very overwhelmed but nothing beyond that...and that's his excuse for drinking. I realize that there is nothing I can say or do, he will stop when he's ready. But by being silent, does that come across as I'm okay with what he's doing? I'm not or does he KNOW I'm not and the less I say the better?

Thanks!!! Can use some insight on this.