Just discussed this with my recently recently relapsed, new to recovery husband.
Generally we don't keep alcohol in the house and I have not been ordering a drink when we go out, but I will have a drink at a dinner party this weekend in front of him, and a few times I have purchased a 2-3 glass mini-box of wine to have a drink at home, like on New Year's eve, or just on a random weekend, because I wanted to. I am not the one with the drinking problem, so I am not going to be a nazi about it, but generally, since it is good for me and the family for hubby to be in recovery, it is just polite/nice/supportive to minimize the temptation.
When I shared with my hubby that on occasion I have had a drink at home, he was fine with that-said I could probably even leave a bottle in the fridge, but that I should mark the level so he knows he would have to be accountable. That tells me he still would find it too tempting, but since I have had this conversation with him, I am ok with if I DO want to have a drink on occasion, I will just do my thing, no big deal, and for now (maybe ever), not have it out and about. No secrets, but don't have to advertize it either. Like when I am dieting, I appreciate him not having a big bag of chocolate in the fridge, but if he picks up a candy bar at the gas station on the way home, and throws out the wrappers in the kitchen, no big deal-I'd prefer it over leaving me tempted.
I wonder if in the OP the spouse was more upset over the 3 year sober poster picking up drinking again than they were over feeling like they can't leave beer in the fridge?
I think communication between the recovered person and the normal drinker are key in this one, and in a supportive relationship you will figure out what will work best for both parties.