I HATE THAT!!! I hate hate hate that. I am a binge drinker. and normally when I binge it's because I am trying to numb myself to a particular life stresser. I drank a lot when I was getting my MBA. I drank a lot when I had a very sick child. I drank a lot when I was buying my house.... going through my divorce... etc. and then recognized I hate it. I hate being a drunk mess, not being able to stop when I have had enough, never feeling like it was enough. so I stopped. I stopped drinking. For about 80 days I didn't have a drop. and then I got drunk one day... I was devastated that I slipped... and then started the count over again. Except this time I allowed myself to drink in moderation. That lasted another 60 days. And this weekend, I got DRUUUUNK.... at my own wedding
I was stressed... running around like crazy.... didn't eat... and honestly had 2 beers up until about 9pm. that's when it all went down hill. drink after drink... and it caught up to me. the tired, the not eating, the STRESS of the planning... and I woke up the next day hurting. I wound up drunk, not really remembering the end of the night, fighting with my new husband... and here it is 2 days later and I can't get rid of that DEEP IN THE BELLY feeling of shame and regret. I am just sad. so very sad.
the other 8 hours were fantastic! The last 2 hours can't ruin the other 8, right???? Shame on me for forgetting that *I* don't have control over alcohol, alcohol has control over me