The time is now
So it's finally time to admit I have a drinking problem. I have been lying to myself for several years "trying" to quit, "trying" to control it, "trying" to do something about it, but never quite believing my problem was, well, a problem.
My thinking being that many times I quit drinking after 6 drinks, 7 drinks, believing that if I don't get super drunk, I am not a drunk. LOL. I even had an AA guy tell me I was a heavy drinker and not an alcoholic. That helped me continue to drink for two or three more years.
But I am done, I marked it on my calendar, today is the day to admit that yes I am, indeed, an alcoholic. Last night I drank 10 or 12 (I lost count) beers at a friend's house (fellow alkie, of course), tried to call my ex-boyfriend and left him a message, drunk and stupid. Today I am ashamed of myself, hung over, feel like an @ss and ready to admit I do not control my addiction, it is controlling me and it always will.
So there is no choice but to quit. Years ago I had quit drinking when I was 30. I made it seven years sober and picked up again. Now at age 44 I am again a drunk and very tired of it.
Obsession, yes, but if I am going to be obsessed, then I would rather obsess about AA and this message board, then continue obsessing about alcohol.
Count me in for one day sober, today is the day to do and quit pretending. And if my post helps any one person out there even a little, then I have really done something good with this addiction, if nothing else.