Hey everyone.
I'm on a 12 hour home pass right now so I figured I'd post on here before going to the meeting.
Today is day 96 and it is a blessing. I'm starting to notice and appreciate little things like sunny days and nature and stuff, it is so amazing, I was never able to do that. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff though. PTSD and flashbacks are pretty bad lately and I haven't been coping well, I've been self-harming again but I am working on it. Anxiety seems so bad sometimes I feel like I'm going to crawl out of my skin. The depression makes it difficult to enjoy anything sometimes. I have fits of rage/anger that make me wanna kill someone..
But the beautiful thing about it is that
I don't have to use over any of it.
For me, there's no such thing as bad days any more, only bad moments, but they pass. And I love life.
I'm going to my favorite NA meeting soon, then going over my step 1 with my sponsor, then going to a bookstore/coffee shop with my friend. It should be a great day.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Jake.