I definitely felt like I had post traumatic stress when my ex was drinking/binging heavily..I felt spaced out, forgetful and I couldn't see myself in the mirror. I was disappearing. I was only in this relationship for 2 years....it was like an out of body experience those nights when he was wasted and all I was trying to do was survive it and take care of his kid.
Al Anon is great. I've been going to meetings for almost 2 years. Please try several meetings, Al Anon suggests six of them, before you decide it it's for you. I attend two meetings a week. I always leave feeling better and I always learn something. And yes, right before I left the relationship, I was so angry but most of all, I was angry with myself, that I had stayed with him and thinking that I could make a difference in his life. Not so much.