I recognised that it was my 'need to be needed' that drew my to my AXH, and by mothering him I allowed his behaviour. I stuck it out for 12 years, when realistically I ought to have called it a day much sooner, what was happening wasn't doing either of us any good, and had we separated sooner he may have found a reason to stop drinking. I still struggle with anger that I wasn't enough reason for him to get help to stop, but ultimately he chose his way of living, and I chose to stay as long as I did.