Good morning everyone
Thank you Briggsy for the perfect quotes once again. And happy day 20 to both of us!
Thank you Dee for your kind words about my issues with this person. I do deserve better. I have evaluated this relationship enough over the years that by this point I know that it is not so much HIM, as my internal, automatic response to him. It is so much like addiction, it's surreal. I can feel my mind and even my body switch to "crazy mode", and my heart starts racing and I start thinking all of this awful things that just make me want to tear my hair out. I honestly thought that this overly dramatic, even irrational, thinking and behavior was linked directly to my drinking, but I guess it's not. I can be a crazy person sober too
It is stifling, but I'm just going to take some time this morning to journal and try to get it out of my system so I can have a good day. I'm terrified that these awful feelings will lead me to a bottle of wine to try to quell them, and I cannot let that happen.
I am sorry for my ranting here, I just want to get past this and feel good again.