Originally Posted by
Ilya 
Hello everyone. I have to admit, I absolutely can not keep up. I'd like to get to know this group, but I fear I am not very good at getting to know others.
I rarely check in. Although, to me, a few times a day is a lot. But it seems like I never have enough time to read up.
Well, unfortunately I'm here to report that I've fallen and tomorrow will be day one again.
I'm upset because I have a very busy day tomorrow.
I was commiserating with a friend, and I avoided the "awkward" part about me not drinking. And I seamlessly ordered a drink.
I can not go out. It was too early.
Nothing horrible occurred, but I must restart my engine now.
Good night all.
I
Ilya, do you have a smartphone? I always have SR up on my I-phone and read the messages while on breaks, lunch, mornings, evenings, etc. It's therapeutic, imo. Think you should check in more, even if no posting, just reading about recovery stories seems to help many here. Did you have a plan before you went out with your friend? Doesn't sound like it, so maybe next time plan ahead. Similar to when I went to my base club/bar this past Thursday. My wife and I decided, we would go, we wouldn't stay long (45-mins), we would order water and we would come back home and eat leftovers as we had planned the day before, before folks had rallied people to go the club that afternoon. It worked for us. Not prying, but do you feel the drink was worth it? The thought of a one night ("F it") and a 12-pk would tick me off so much at this point. Even though you ordered the drink, you could've changed your mind and simply explained to your friend, "geez, what did I do, I may have not told you (insert friends name) but, I'm actually trying to stop drinking". Also, when I made the decision, I told my closest friends which I hang out with the most at the beginning. So, there wasn't one of those "awkward" moments. You'd be surprised how supporting people are and how shocked some are. Those who seem shocked and might laugh and make jokes probably are jealous towards your commitment to changing a negative into a positive in your life. You'll definitely know who are friends and who are merely acquaintances.
It does get easier as the days add up. Most of us here with 15, 17, 19, 20, 21 or 22 days are saying the same message. So hang in there. We've been on each day that you experience already and have made it through it. Hoping to see your days add up again.