Originally Posted by
newhope01 
Wow, we really are a busy thread!
Had some bad memories awakened from my past. No anxiety, just kind of flat.
I'm starting to realize that I never dealt with these issues because right around the time these bad memories occurred I was already heavily drinking. Im kind of scared to deal with it as I cannot endure any more pain from it. So, Im feeling kind of flat.. like a defense mechanism or something to that effect.
Just can't go there.. Im just not ready yet. I'd rather just observe it from afar analytically and not involve myself too much in them.
Heh, Im probably not making any sense.. Just had to kind of get my thoughts out. Thanks for listening/reading.
Understand completely I have only been drinking heavily for 6 or 7 months. I had a bad relationship end about the same time that I was diagnosed with PTSD from. Seriously it drove me to an out patient program who got me to understand I need to stop drinking NOW before it progresses. I started drinking because of panic attacks and agoraphobia and have 6 days sober and those feelings are coming back because I fully wasn't feeling my feelings. I feel like my crutch was taken away. And these feelings suck but am on Antabuse so drinking is not an option. I feel somewhat numb or am trying to feel numb so I don't have to remember or deal.
Word of advice everyone, if you think someone is a little off you probably can't help them. 4 different counselors at outpatient are convinced my ex fiance is a sociopath. Run away from them before you have to run to the bottle!!
