Geah it sounds like you are going through a lot right now. I am still fighting for sobriety myself, been on and off drinking for about 2 years after years and years of heavy drinking (besides my pregnancies). But what I have learned from my stretches of sobriety is this: if you stick with this not drinking thing day by day, things start to change. One day it might just be an hour feeling tons of self esteem, the next day you might feel really optimistic. Seeded throughout are bad days, and bad moments. But slowly you will begin to feel yourself rise above the clouds and know that good things are happening inside of you physically and mentally. You just have to stick with it and ride out the bad times, like you are having tonight. You can do this
