Alanon absolutely helped, it saved my sanity and my life. I learned that by focusing on an alcoholic and staying in a miserable relationship I didn't have to deal with my own issues. I learned that I'm responsible for my own life and feelings. I could stay and be miserable or leave and take a chance on having the life I want. The big help came from being with people who were also codependent and at different stages of recovery. Enormous support for the tough times I went through.