Originally Posted by
formyboys 
hmmm....yeah, that forgiveness thing has been hard for me to understand. Im working on understanding that its not saying that you agree with what was done that you are forgiving...but just saying that you are letting it go and not going to hold on to it anymore.
that's a hard one for me...but Im getting there
I struggled with forgiveness for a long time. (still do here & there)
It's hard not to think that by forgiving you are somehow accepting that what was done is OK. But it really isn't that at all. Everytime we hold onto forgiveness it's like keeping a wound open & festering so we remember the pain... but it also keeps that scar tissue from healing over it & makes sure we'll never be free from the pain... and eventually our ripping off that top layer & keeping that pain close to the surface hurts waaaaayyyyy more than the cut that created the wound in the 1st place. And we realize we're the only ones hurting from it.... the other person has no clue how much anger or pain we are holding onto.
Tricky, tricky stuff.
It sounds like you are making wonderful strides in your recovery!!!!