Yeah, that feeling is quite common. Never wanting to go back from where you were. 2 years seems like a long time to get back to feeling normal. When I was fed up with everything, and worked all 12 steps. I started to feel normal at about step 10 or 11 which took about 4 months, maybe 6 months tops. I could talk to other people and look them in the eye, I could relate to them and go on with casual converstation. I could let go of resentments and feel at ease, at peace, in harmony with nature. It was so freeing. I am a rock bottom drunk, come from skid row, the streets. Once I saw other people who have recovered I never diddley daddled, I never took it slow and easy because I knew from past expiriences that when I did that, I relapsed hard core. When I started to crash cars up, and lose jobs I was a little concerned, when I went to the penitentiary I was very concerned.