I just wanted to let you know I read, I relate, and I feel for you! I can totally get into that headspace, so I don't have much advise for how to get out of it, but the others have said some really great things. I hope you can give yourself a break. You sound like you have TONS going for you! You are working. You are sober. You are seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist. You are eating healthy. You are exercising. You are awesome! The fact that you don't want to be doing those things all the time, but you do them anyway is a testament to how strong and how determined you are!
I am impressed and inspired, as you are accomplishing things I am not right now.