Originally Posted by blackandblue

With active addiction out of my daily life I have gained new insight. I realize my AXBF has held a firm presence in my life regardless of his physical presence. It is as if I have been loyal to a ghost. I let go of the relationship, yet have held on to the idea that I attached to him. Neither truly letting go or moving on.

I am on a hiatus from being active in self-improvement stuff, or maybe it has taken on a new form. I needed a break from introspection overload. I decided I just wanted to live my life instead of analyzing it to death, of which I have a knack for doing and enjoy it to a fault.

I can hear a few of you already saying, "so how's that working out for you?' Well. I just had a dream about a volcano that was spewing ash and smoke off in the distance and had the feeling it was headed straight for me. In the dream I was holding the hand of my AXBF with a needle full of heroin in my other hand. In my dream, I asked him if I should use it. Hmm? Anyone have dream interpretation skills?