How we talk and internalize is critically important to how we feel about ourselves and how we function in our lives. When we over criticise ourselves, its not helpful at all. Certainly reflecting upon our day makes good sense. Being objective is worthwhile. It may seem obvious to some, but not everybody enjoys their perceived selves, and this can be a real downer for those people when its left to simply work itself out because its not usually something that just goes away. The best remedy for such a challenge is to intervene on ourselves for ourselves. Being introspective with a purpose to free ourselves from criticism of ourselves is no small matter, and yet is always worth the doing of so as to enjoy our lives all the more no matter our circumstances.
When we observe ourselves, we do best to admit that a sliding scale is more reflective of reality then is a black or white judgement. With this well in mind, we can have a better purpose within ourselves to appreciate our challenges, and in this way we become more compassionate.
You have a lot on your plate, Nicole. Even so, you have sobriety and you have a willingness to have a better life through sobriety and change. It may seem too simple, but I think if your asking what to do now, I'm suggesting you take some reflective time to re-state your progress and success in a manner that can support your continuing efforts. Doing this as a matter of course as often as you can each day will really allow you to become more comfortable in your own skin. We all want to feel better about ourselves, and its important we can start today with what we got to start feeling better - we don't have to wait until we change this an that - we really can work with what we got today.
I hope this makes sense to you, Nicole. I was such a dysfunctional person back when I was just getting sober. I had physical challenges, mental health challenges, I was in poverty, and I was terrified of failure and even more terrified I could never be lovable to anyone.
I discovered I was misinformed, lol. Just by changing how and what I internalised made a real difference and this difference I quickly learned to maximise my success with becoming a person who made a difference in their own life. You can too!
It may seem simplistic, but it really is important how we "talk" to ourselves. Give yourself a break. Take it easy, Nicole. Congrats on your early success in sobriety! More to come, I'm sure.