That is what I am finding so hard is putting me first and focusing on my well being. We did talk this morning and he is staying clean and positive which makes me happy. At least I know he is safe.
One thing that TX said that clicked with me was I cannot love him sober and that is what I was trying to do. I was trying to control and love him sober.
I'm very thankful that I found this forum because I no longer feel like I'm all alone. I didn't want to involve my family or his because I didn't want their opinion on him to change.