I have 4 kids.........................
20 yr old daughter.............thinks dad is a funny drunk and disagrees that I divoced him last year..........she went to life with him, she likes to drink herself.
19 yr old daughter.............thinks (knows) dad is an as----e and will have nothing to do with him and he nothing with her............was thrilled that I divorced him.
17 yr old daughter disabled.............thinks dad is an as----e because all he does when she visits him is talks bad about mom..................was glad that i divorced him.
14 yr old son.............says all his friends are divorced so it doesnt matter to him................loves his dad and just lets what dad says about mom go in 1 ear and out the other.
My kids all remember that mom was the only parent they could relly count on for anything. Mom took care of everything, house kids cars school, you name it and I took care of it. I have always just ignored the fact that he drank til he passed out every nite. He went to work every day and would do whatever I told him to do. Kinda like another one of the kids.
I did not cover up anything for him. As the kids got older (teens) they figured out for themselfs what was relly going on. I let them make their own judgements of the situation. He was never really mean to anyone, just leave him alone downstairs to drink by himself and everything was cool.
Well, that got old or I got wiser. After 19 years I asked him for a divorce. I just couldnt see myself in this relationship anymore. I wasnt really happy, just going thru the motions of rising kids and taking care of a house that he wouldnt take care. Oh yeah and working 40 hrs a week.
He quit drinking the day I told him I was divorcing him. No program, nothing, just quit!!! That is the reason I believe that it was a choice for him. He did tell me that he knew I wasnt happy, he was just not ready to quit. It took me telling him I was divorcing him to quit, too bad he waited too long. Mind you I did tell him about every 4-6 months that he really needed to do something about the drinking because it was geting old and I didnt know how long I could continue like that.
Divorce and happy happy happy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My 2 cents , take what you want, leave the rest