It's not sinful to say you don't like your mother. Just being someone's mother shouldn't guarantee love or respect. I didn't love or like my mother. She did nothing to earn my love or respect. She treated my father, a really wonderful man, like dirt. She was hurtful to me as a child and an adult, she said hurtful things to my daughter, and she never liked my husband (well, she may have been right about that one, but I'd never admit it). One of the things I am thankful for is that she is no longer around for me to deal with. When she died I felt liberated for the first time. That being said, I always said I would live in a tent than live with her. No amount of money or security would have been worth it to me. You aren't required to forgive. I never did. If you are sober and doing well and it feels better without her, I'd say it is a worthwhile sacrifice.