I recently kicked my bf out of our home because of lies he told while trying to hide his recent slip up with drugs. We have had breaks in the past because of his addiction but have always worked things out and there has been improvements each time. I'm struggling with the fact that I feel like I abandoned him while he needed me. He is struggling trying to stay clean and needed me to let him be while he dealt with this. I wanted to talk through the lie that has damaged our relationship. The lie was told to me three weeks ago on a Friday and on Saturday he came clean that he had slipped and did drugs. I am proud of him that he came to me and told me he slipped and we worked through it together, the money owing (I did not give him any) and we dealt with the dealer bugging him for the money owing. I wasn't happy about the slip but I was happy about how he was open about it with me. Then I found out about the lie last Thursday and we have been tense and fighting ever since. He left Saturday night as we were fighting and said he didn't want to come back. He ended up staying at his friends house (who is also one of his support people) and didn't come home till Sunday morning. When he got home he was distant and went to bed. He had been complaining of a migraine for three days by that point. I have been reading online on how to support your loved ones as I have no experience with this before. I let him nap and did go in and give him a hug so he would know that he was not alone. After a few hours I just couldn't hold the hurt anymore and tried to talk to him. Everything just escalated, we are both so frustrated. He is the type that tries to deal with everything on his own. I did apologize for kicking him out. I told him that I wasn't condoning lies or staying out all night but I could have handled it better. He says he can't come home because he can't take the pressure and that I am a trigger. I am at a loss because I don't know if this is normal behaviour to shut out your loved ones. I am trying to find out everything I can about how to help him without ripping myself apart but I'm emotionally drained. I'm here now trying to give him his space but in constant wonder on how he is or if he is ever coming home. He tells me he can't tell me if he is ever coming home because he can't think about that right now, he can only focus on staying clean.