Myyy, wow your post has me bawling. What you mentioned about that little girl inside. I remember her too. I see her every once and awhile (when I'm clean). I miss her. I watch my son and I mourn her. There are those that have loved me addicted and those that have loved me pre-addiction. Those that love me addicted never say things like "what happened to the girl I knew?" That **** hurts so bad. I don't know where I'm going with this just know you are not alone. What I do know for sure is this. Being clean brings me closer to that girl. I'll never be her again, nor do I want to be. I have morphed. Sobriety helps me morph into someone even better than before.