Hello sadwife,
I'm glad you were looking for some meetings in your area to attend. I'm also glad you found a program....and that they are willing to work with you. That's great...I'm sure that's given you a little more peace of mind.
Sorry that you didn't find a meeting yet. I suppose family meetings are fewer and farther in between then let's say meetings for addicts and alcoholics. I guess some family members do attend open NA meetings with their addict. I've been to some of those meetings and feel they really are geared towards the addict side than the family side. I think most you'd get out of it is knowledge of the struggles addicts go through in recovery. But as far as your own personal healing goes, I don't think they would be too useful.
I have posted links to the most common recovery meetings available.
http://nar-anon.org/naranon/ http://crgroups.info/ http://www.sossobriety.org/meetings/ http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/family.htm
((((Sorry mods if this is not allowed.))))
I suppose trying a few different types to see which ones resinate with you best would be the way to go. Even different meetings within the groups can be very different as far as comfort level and support go. I do think you should still look into individual therapy for yourself. I think I just mentioned on another thread how important therapy is for spouses of addicts /alcoholics. Your addict husband has done a number on your own emotions/thought processes. Damage is done whether it was intensional or not. I know that I never deliberately sought out to hurt my family members....in fact I was oblivious to the pain and suffering my addiction caused them. My focus was entirely on the pills...how many I had and how to get more. But I know for a fact that all my moodiness, lies, thefts, gas-lighting, blame-shifting etc. have taken its toll.....even the most mentally healthy spouse would suffer under those circumstances. The fact that you are carrying a child makes your mental health even more important Dont you think? Alright, off my soapbox now.
I know it's super frustrating when you know full well your father-in-law is compounding the problem with hubby's addiction. I hope that your husband can reach a point where he can be more independent.....cut that cord with his father. Hey, if you have a fairly close relationship with your father-in-law bring him with you to a "family" meeting.....he might learn something! Ha!
Yes sub is a usefull tool, but it is by no means a cure-all! Hubby still needs to do the work needed to remain successful in his recovery. That will take lots effort, dillegence and soul-searching on his part.....those types of things hubby has to do himself....no one can do that part for him. Of course you can offer lots of encouragement and support.....never at your own expense though. There is the potential for abuse of sub...So hubby will have to keep that in mind....and never take more than prescribed. In fact, having a family member dole out his daily dose might be nessesary if it becomes a problem. I'm just making you aware, for knowledge sake what could happen. That doesn't mean it will, ya know?
Alright, I better wrap this up...need to cook dinner. I hope your sister is doing alright. That's so very sad!
Hugs
Clean