Deep breaths Flipped! It will be ok in the looooong ruuun... you know why I say that? Because you full well recognize everything that's gone down, is going down, and will go down. He caught you in a moment of weakness and probably that was his plan all along. That doesn't mean you're stuck by any means! You should work on YOU. Concentrate of friends and activities to help yourself not be lonely. Keep chanting "I don't need a man right now to make me feel whole". You've just slipped back in to a rut with this man. He is not the one for you. Be glad you aren't tied down in a marriage with kids at this point. Hang in there, we are here for you.