Originally Posted by
Mrrryah1 
Mentally I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed. I could compare it to "5 different radio stations being on in my head, all playing something different. None of it good." Just racing mind racing thoughts and tons of negative self talk.
I know that sensation. There is a committee in my head. One faction wants me to live a happy sober life. The other faction will tell me anything, ANYTHING to get me to drink again:
You're worthless (so it doesn't matter)
No one loves you (so it doesn't matter)
Life is sh!t (so it doesn't matter)
Next time will be different
Just be careful next time, you weren't careful and that's why we had trouble
Just buy 3
It took me 25 years to figure out that the addicted faction lies. All of it. Every word. Lies.
When I was a boy my grandparents owned a farm. Heavy machinery and trees to climb on. Animals to see and smell. Grandma was always baking something. It was a wondrous place to visit. Always new things to see.
Last year I stopped listening to the opinions of the liar living in my head. The world is wondrous again.
You can do this.
