pain is unavoidable, suffering however is optional. breakups hurt....for awhile. however WE have a choice to how long we wallow in misery and make it way more difficult than it needs be.
It may sound harsh but it's the truth.
I won't lie. Leaving, divorcing, haggling in courts was very much a circle of hell.
But for me, staying would have been, too.
It's all a matter of what's best in the long run, right?
Someone talked to me about breaking up/divorcing as sort of what doctors have to do when you've got a broken bone that's grown together wrong: Sometimes, they have to physically break it again to put it back together right. It hurts like a mofo, but the end result is better. If you just let it be, you'll have a limp for life.
Lots of hugs to you. Stop beating yourself up. When we know better, we do better.