Im starting over again. Working on day 2. I was an alcoholic for over 20 yrs, I had over 6yrs sober, then I went back to drinking for 3yrs, sober 8 months, drinking again for 5 months. I have tried several times to stop in Janurary. Now I start again in Feb. Dealing with depression, grief and ptsd is hard enough on thier own but mixed with drinking and it only sends me deeper into a dark place that I am desperately trying to climb out of. I made commitment to myself to come here everyday. I need to hold myself accountable somehow. Only I can change me. No amount of treatment is going to help if I can not help myself. I write this to that I can see it in writing that I want to be sober.