Florence, I know what your talking about and I agree.
OK, back into weird. In conference approved literature there is a lot of talking about how our ego or thinking gets in our way, that thoughts aren’t always true, that emotions aren't facts. In Buddhism there is the concept of “no self”. That much of our suffering comes from the internal dialogs and monologs in our heads.
So, I disassembled the analog of my wife and things got better and quieter. In the quiet I noticed another voice or analog. It seems that I have at least one analog of Mike in my head. It isn’t Me but I treat it as if it was Me. I am now in the process of hunting down and turning off the Mike analogs.
Part of this comes from reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. The very first chapter is “You are not your mind”. Not that mind isn't important or doesn't have it uses it’s just that it isn't you. You are more than your thoughts and emotions. I know, common recovery stuff. But, what happens when you finally see your ego as a construct, a tool you use and why is this tool in charge. Pun intended.
Very interesting concept and it fits so well with where I am now in my recovery. My signature has “Serenity is just being yourself” and I still think that’s true. The question is who is myself. I am more than my analog, my ego, my thoughts and emotions. Since I have really started recovery I come to realize there is more to me than what I thought. I guess this is just the next step in the journey.
Your friend,