I saw something similar in my family when I got sober. I was 22 at the time. Both I and my mother were chronic alchys, and my sister was none too well either. It drove my dad up the wall. His son who should have grown up, and his wife, both out of control, both unable to manage their own lives.
So, for many years he had done what he could to help us manage our affairs. There had of course been previous unsuccesful attempts to solve our problems, geographicals, changes of jobs, changes of friends, counselling, treatment, new interests, you name it, nothing worked.
So when I turn up at AA and start making progress, poor old Dad could hardly believe his eyes. There had been so many let downs before, that he was cautious in the extreme about believing that this AA thing might actually work. And who could blame him?
As a consequence there was some tension when I began to want to take control of my own affairs. He was frightened I would make a mistake and fall off the wagon, he had got his hopes up before and had them dashed.
The only thing for me to do was (step 4) look at my part in it. I didn't have to look very hard to see I was responsible, not him. He didn't let me down, he stuck with me through thick and thin. His current reluctance to trust me was caused directly by my alcoholism and self centredness.
Once I saw my fault I was in a position to contemplate amends. These took several forms over a period of years, but there did come a point where we were totally reconciled. He died a few years back now, and there was complete peace and love between us.
Families are always the last to come around. It takes time. And it takes the ability to recognise our part. When we offer an amends, to family or anyone else, we do it unconditionally. We do the action, but God handles the results. Sometimes there is forgiveness and reconciliation at once, sometimes it takes longer, sometimes it never happens. Thy will, not mine....
But if we approach amends in a conditional way, with expectations on the other party, we are heading for disappointment. We have not acquired sufficient humility, possibly something has been missed in the preceeding steps. The last paragraph on page 75 asks some questions which might guide you to a solution.