I felt the most lost right before things got better. I think maybe that's the way it works sometime; the despair can be like a slingshot, that finally launches you forward.
That's why there is always, always hope.
I'd second the vote to check out those AVRT links in the secular section of SR. At the very least, they'll keep you busy for hours, because there's a lot to digest. And at best, you may emerge feeling empowered, like I did.
Most of all, do not give up!