Nothing much to say...
Today, I've been sober 2192 days, marking 6 years of sobriety. Strangely, I've nothing much to say,overwhelmed by the thought that prior to this date, in 2008 I never thought I'd go a day without alcohol....
I can't say my journey into recovery, and a subsequent lengthy period of sobriety required much effort on my part. Other than on the night preceding that day. Whilst alone and unaided, drinking myself into such a state, that I couldn't rise from my armchair and had to crawl , like a snake to my bed. Where with some difficulty I managed to heave myself into it, drag the covers over me, and lie there in absolute fear, thinking I'd never seen the morning light, and that this time. I really had gone to far...
Praying, crying, screaming out for release, and just prior to falling into oblivion.I had the feeling that I was falling through a pitch black night, stars rushing past on either side of me, and then suddenly feel in tug, in the center of my body and then oblivion...
Over the next few days, I felt very ill, not ill enough to be incapacitated. I twice attempted to drink alcohol, the second time of a weaker strength than my normal ,'drug of choice'. On each occasion, that and the modest mount of food I'd managed to eat, resulted in my vomiting the contents up, after only a sip or two of booze, the rest was immediately poured down the sink.
The process of my at least starting my recovery was then complete...and has continued ever since, in a more sane, sensible manner, without alcohol.
The two high points of the past six years have undoubtedly been that I was sober at my mothers passing, in 2009 and just a sober, if not even more so at the birth of my first grandchild a year later...
Of course I don't make light of the fact that for 30 years, prior to these events, I lived in a state of 'alcohell' that we as recovering alcoholics know so well, hat being the case. I've nothing much to say about that either...feeling that. It's ok to look back, but you mustn't stare...
Better to just live in the day, as I am doing now.