So last night we (finally) had a discussion of what happened and what to do about it. She is naturally very sorry for her actions, and expresses an apparently sincere desire not to do this in the future. I told her that I have nothing left to give, that if the ship is to be righted, she will have to take the lead and make something happen. I will live out the year with her, but I am out of ideas for trying to save us, because she is not living up to her end of the bargain. I asked her if she wants to try to save it (yes) and if so, what does she propose to do about it? Unfortunately, she has no new ideas beyond finding a new AA sponsor and a new therapist.
I am thinking I will suggest she go into a sober house for a while. I just don't see how the same old strategies will somehow break her pattern. Plus, I think I need a break from the insanity, or I believe we are marching toward an inevitable outcome. At the same time, I am hesitant to throw more money and energy at this, prolonging the agony even further.