I am so sorry that you are in this situation, your mind must be working over time. I hope that you find some solace here with people who have experienced some of the things you are going through. Please keep yourself safe as your partner seems very unstable. Can't you move in with your family, just pick up your things and go? I know you are paying rent but you could still pay that further away. It's so hard moving forward and leaving the addict but with your families help I am sure that you could move forward and at least be in a safer place.