I would like to solidify my reasons for staying clean. Maybe others will identify with these things.
I get chills when I actually FEEL something. Like a strong emotion, or a sense of accomplishment, or sadness, makes me feel like I have never felt before whilst on the opes. I think for the fist time in a while I can feel emotions.
I find things funny. Almost to the point of insanity, like laughing uncontrollably when someone says something funny. It's like I forgot how to laugh.
I feel disgust for the person I had become. The people I used to associate with.
I feel like I'm plugging into a higher reality of existence. I see people living in the moment and want to be able to do that. I guess I'm learning.
I want people to see the LIFE beaming out of my eyeballs. I want to be contagiously positive and be an example for my brother. Not to long ago if you looked in my eyes you wouldn't see much going on, but I want to get to the place where I have a presence, something like a mystical life force that spills out and into others around me.
I just noticed these things are kind of spiritual. Huh.
Anyways, I'm starting to live again and I just wanted to share. Thanks for all your love and support.