My mom was severely depressed when I was growing up. I know that's when my codependent and caretaker tendencies were formed. I'm the oldest of seven kids and was so busy taking care of everyone else that I had very little self-awareness. I also believe that I "absorbed" her feelings of despair and self-hatred and emulated her negative behaviors. If things had been different my depression as a teen and adult may have been much, much less severe.
Luckily I've been able to recognize and take care of a lot of that stuff. I love my mom and wish she could have delved more deeply into healing herself. She's incredibly sensitive and a very talented artist. (a lot like my BF, imagine that!) We've talked about it but she doesn't want to dig up the painful parts of her life. I understand as she had a horrible childhood, and I credit her for being a loving, affectionate mom and doing the best she could.